Today was "d" day, or should I say "m" day. Today was the day I got my motivation back. My house is presently filled with all he delights of the holiday, cookies, chips, cake, chocolates and so much more. How tempting it is for me to reach for these and say tomorrow I will begin. That is going back to bad habits I formed ages ago. I started my day by being honest, I weighed myself. To say I was disappointed would be an under statement. Not only am I disappointed in myself, I am concerned that I let my readers down.I have been run through a mill this summer and fall and I let it win. Unfortunately for me, I rewarded myself with all the wrong things, and never took time for me to workout, walk or move. I know my "rewards" are really punishments but I fell in to my old traps of weight gain and failures. So here I sit declaring that I have put many pounds back on. I was almost in a size 8 at the beginning of the summer and am now a size 12.
Its really ironic that to get my motivation back, I went back in this blog. I started reading it from day one. When I got to February I stopped reading, took my clothes off, got on the scale, starred down on my reality. I then whipped on my workout clothes and sneakers. I grabbed a rubber band and 2 water bottles and head down to my treadmill. The remotes were still resting on the machine just as I had left in more than a month earlier.
To my relief, I wasn't back where I was in February, doing 1/4 mile walking followed by a short jog. Instead I was able to push myself for an entire mile jogging, followed up by walking on an incline of 7-11 steadily for another mile. My cell phone rang as I was jogging and it reminded me of some of the stresses that allowed me to gain back pounds. This time I must get a grip on these problems, and find rewards in eating healthy and exercising.
Last January I had high hopes of losing so many pounds by a certain date. This time, I know it can be done, proof is within my blog. I just can't be a quitter, and really I am NOT a quitter, I just sometimes put me on standby.
So to all of you that have received inspiration from me in the past, forgive me for falling off the wagon, but I promise you I am back. And this time I intend to work on my emotional issues a little more so that I won't be writing about my failures to you again but instead of my strengths.
Well, tonight is the Devils game, and me and Alan are attending which means an opportunity to eat horrible. Instead we are leaving early, (since he is home on reruns) and will be eating at a restaurant nearby. Better choices for me to eat right, and we have to walk from our parking garage to the restaurant and the arena. More exercise for me! Weeeeeeee!!! I am rooting for a win for the Devils, as we have both been on a terrible losing streak its time for winning!Go Devils, Go Cat!
2 comments:
Cat,
what a honest blog. But you are truly a great person. Remember the ridge taught us not to beat ourselves if we backtracked. I too have backtracked by 15-20 lbs (still kept 80 lbs off) but my goal from Dec 5,. 2009 by starting the ridge was to have a 100 lbs off in a year. I had shoulder surgery in August, 2010 which did not allow me to exercise for a long time. Now I am trying to get back and get motivated again. I need the Ridge but I cant finance it right now. BUt YOUR blog has helped me to start again. Thank you, Cat. YUou can do it.
Cat,
It is great to see you blogging again. I'm right with you on the old habits. Reading your blog has motivated me to get my butt going again. I will be watching and doing right along with you.
Love you,
Robbie
Post a Comment